AJ Aalto is the author of Touched, first in the paranormal mystery series The Marnie Baranuik Files. Aalto is an unrepentant liar and a writer of blathering nonsense offset by factual gore. When not working on her novels, you can find her singing old Monty Python songs in the shower, eavesdropping on perfect strangers, stalking her eye doctor, or failing at one of her many fruitless hobbies. Generally a fan of anyone with a passion for the ridiculous, she has a particular weak spot for smug pseudo-intellectuals and narcissistic jerks; readers will find her work littered with dark, imperfect creatures, flawed monsters and oodles of snark. Touched is available for Kindle or Nook.
AJ cannot say no to a Snickers bar, and has been known to swallow her gum.
So, without further ado.... I give you.... Ms. AJ Aalto!!!
The Best Christmas Gift I’ve Ever Received
When I was young, I grew up in a home where dad worked and mum stayed home and raised the kids; my mum usually picked out all our Christmas presents and dad paid. When I was 13, however, my dad went and picked out a gift for me on his own: a Stephen King novel. If my memory serves, it was Skeleton Crew. My mum was properly horrified, but I was over the moon. I was finally old enough to read grown-up horror novels, this gift said, but not only that: I was finally old enough to brave & enjoy the same kind of scares as my dad, and that was just awesome.
AJ Aalto’s TOP 5 Gift Ideas
I love to give homemade presents; when you put thought and effort into your gift, it shows. With that in mind, I’d like to share with you my top 5 gift ideas for the holidays.
1. Imperviousness. Did I mention that I craft Undergarments of Invulnerability in my barn? Because I totally do. They’re only $65,000/pair (save 10% if you buy my book) and come in green, yellow, and Super-Villain grey. Made from pure Crazanium. The good news is: they don’t have a single side effect…they have TONS of side effects (ex. headaches, drowsiness, hot flashes, cold flashes, festering boils, foaming at the mouth, sudden onset Tourette’s syndrome, bouts of random maniacal laughter, delusions of grandeur, and eternal damnation of your soul.) Undergarments of Invulnerability make spiffy gifts for the whole family.
2. Anti-Haunt Spray. This is also something I make in my barn, from super-special condensed “magic air-flavoured air” that ghosts just hate. But AJ, you say, I don’t need or want Anti-Haunt Spray; no sane person does! Well, that’s where you are mistaken, Erroneous McWrongpants. Everybody needs this. Localized residential hauntings are at an all-time high (based on no studies done anywhere by anyone) and I don’t doubt for a second that your home absolutely lousy with ghosts. If you’re not on my Christmas list this year, you better see about getting’ yourself some Anti-Haunt Spray.
3. Get Out of Burglary Free coupon! Upon receipt of this coupon, I promise that I will NOT break into your home for one (1) whole month, even though I totally dig your new lamp, and think it would look better in my bedroom. This coupon applies to one person per household. A popular gift! People always give me a queasy sort of smile when they receive one.
4. Paranoid Fantasy of the Month Club. A crazy upgrade from your run-of-the-mill Jelly of the Month Club. I like to spoil my giftees with only the very BEST paranoia, and achieve this by targeted, dedicated stalking with unpredictable shifts in intensity (new and improved, now with extra-crunchy weirdness!) For some reason, people don’t seem to appreciate this gift much, but it’s SUPER-fun to give.
5. Books. I genuinely, for realsies, buy a shitload (more than a basket but slightly less than a bushel) of books as gifts, especially over the holiday season. 80% of the gifts under my Christmas tree right now are suspiciously book-shaped. It’s the gifts that AREN’T shaped like books that you wanna worry about.
Ok, so I officially can't stop laughing! Thank you so much for joining us AJ! That is definitely the BEST "Top 5 Gift Ideas" we have ever had! You all can find AJ online at her website www.ajaalto.com and connect with AJ on Facebook or Twitter.
If you guys haven't read the first book in AJ's The Marnie Baranuik Files you DON'T want to miss it! I definitely recommend it as a gift for anyone who loves Supernatural and Urban Fantasy but is looking for a new twist. You can purchase TOUCHED, Book 1 in The Marnie Baranuik Files on Amazon or B&N.com. You can check out my review of TOUCHED here.
As a special gift to all of our followers, two, that's right, 2 winners will receive an e-book of Touched! This giveaway is international and you must be at least 18 years old to enter! This is an adult book with adult themes. The giveaway will run from Dec. 17, 2012 until Midnight Dec. 31, 2013. Just enter through the Rafflecopter form below.
a Rafflecopter giveaway